A conundrum of massive proportion

My paper shredder just crapped out on me. In this economy, I can’t afford to buy a new one. But, in this economy, I can’t afford to have my identity stolen either.

Barack and John, these are the kinds of things that we “Joe the Dog” living on “Main Street” have to worry about. And while we are talking paper shredding, please quit mailing me stuff. I got the Internet, I know what your positions are on issues. I got it, I got it.

But, if you could swing a paper shredder, send it on over. You already know my address and since I live in Ohio, a paper shredder for me means a vote for you!