This is the cover of the LIFE section of the Dayton Daily News today.

On the masthead, it says “Life; You’ve only got one. Live it up” but the headline for the feature article is telling me to “get back in the car,” that sticking my head out to catch a breeze through my ears and fur courtesy of a moving car is not good.

I am so conflicted.

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Here is the secret to the sustainability of The Simpsons: Bart Simpson will always be 10 years old.

At first, this statement seems a bit puzzling, but think about why other social media icons have fallen away. The Brady Bunch grew up, the kid from Two and a Half Men is now a teen-ager, Eddie from The Courtship of Eddie’s Father quickly grew older. The bane of shows that have kid stars is they get older quickly. But, Bart Simpson will always be 10 years old.

Mommybloggers have fallen into this trap because many of them build their audiences around themselves, their personal brand. They are in the minds of their audience, always a mom with kids of “a certain age.” But, while they tend to attract new moms, they themselves are getting older and their kids along with them. Yet, they are looked to for the same advice they were giving when they were struggling through new parenthood.

And many of these mommybloggers will not grow out of that “phase” because it took too much time, too much energy, too much of everything to get to where they are and they will hang on. To their audience, they will always be the mommy.

But they aren’t. They are older, their kids no longer need them to be “mommy.” And this will tear their world apart because they have built a solid brand around being “mommy.”

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This is just funny and clever stuff because it is in context. The dogs leaping into the pool isn’t bad viewing either.

And if you are a lawyer or a company with a lawyer and feel the need to send me a cease and desist letter, for anything I have done, said or will do and say, I will publicly ridicule it and you as well. I will probably pee on it instead of oven-toasting it!

Fight fair and write with care. And compete with your brain, not your lawyer. You’ll look smarter and less like a whiney-momma’s boy-cupcake-nancy-pansy.

Yup, that oughta get me at least ONE letter.

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They say this feeds fourteen people. We ate it using three.

Last weekend, we were in St. Louis for the NSCAA. Our one goal was to seek out and eat a Pointersaurus pizza at Pointer’s Pizza. For those of you who have not seen the Food Network and Travel Channel segments, it is a 28″ pizza and is as large as a table top.

First, we had to find the place. It was across town, with no parking except for an Office Depot across the street. We stopped in and bought some blank CDs to ease our guilty consciences about parking in their space. The store front looked no larger than a Dominos carry out. Did we have the right place? It looked bigger on TV.

Yes, we did have the right place. We went in and there were two tables. Two. And a waiting couch the size of a dime. The rest of the store was devoted to a counter to take orders and answer phones and two rows of pizza ovens.

That’s it. Answering phones, making pizzas.

Businesses that look small are huge in this economy, as long as they stick to the knitting. Pointer’s Pizza does one thing and does it very well; makes pizza. That’s it, nothing fancy.

I can imagine how the phone call went with The Food Network:

PP: “Pointer’s Pizza. What would you like.”
FN: “We want to come in and film your big pizza you make and put you on TV.”
PP: “Ok, come in, stay clear of the ovens and the phones. You are going to pay for the pizza, aren’t you?”
Long pause…
FN: “But we’re putting your store on television….”
Longer pause…
FN: “Of course we are going to pay for the pizza.”
PP: “See you next Thursday.”
*ring*
PP: “Pointer’s Pizza. What would you like.”

Stay small, stay focused, stick to the knitting.

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Today, I heard from a long-time reader who emailed me just to let me know she was still reading and that she had been enjoying the blog ever since she first saw it.

Wow! Whenever I get an email like this, it is truly a humbling experience. Even though the DogWalkBlog gets lots of traffic, when a reader takes a few moments out of the day just to say she enjoys reading it touches. That is what blogging and Twittering and all this stuff is about; one touch, one moment.

I’m writing this immediately after looking at the pictorial spread in the Wall Street Journal. In a sea of 1.5 million people, photojournalists are able to pick out one genuine smile, one face full of hope and one little girl who gives her dad a “thumbs up” with an orange glove.

I aspire to be that lens. Always.

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Congratulations, Mr. President

Following that speech, my new resolutions for 2009 and beyond are:
- To reject negative thinking and reject anyone who says, “That is not possible” and seek out those who say “How can we do that.”
- To reject any and all who speak racists comments and to speak up without hesitation, whether friend or not.
- To quit doing what provides no value to others or myself.

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Generation Y isn’t lazy, impatient, demanding, high-maintenance and self-absorbed. They are just living life fully, in the moment, every day. Why? Because of terrorism.

Huh?

Yes, says Tamara Erickson in a recent podcast posted on Bnet.com. GenY came of age during the era of terrorism and that affected them so much that they seek to be in the moment just in case everything comes crashing down around them in a single, unpredictable moment.

Perhaps they seek to be in the moment because they have been handed everything by their Boomer parents? Perhaps they don’t know how to delay gratification. Maybe? Even just a little bit? Is there no depth to which GenY will not stoop to blame someone or something else for their failing?

There are all sorts of other tangents that Erickson goes down that are flawed reasoning. For example, she suggests that corporations give them a task, but don’t over-train them, let them figure it out. The problem there is GenY really has no skills nor do they have any sense of when a project is complete or well done. The conclusion most would draw is “If my boss has a problem with the quality of my work, he will give me feedback. Otherwise, its all good.”

Sounds like a theory being backed into a book.

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Thank you Karina for leading me to this.

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Why do we eat? The simple answer would be that if we did not eat, we would die. But that is not entirely true. Science can provide us with a pill we can take that would provide exactly the nutrition we need — no more, no less — to keep our bodies healthy. Yet, we resist the notion that a pill, taken three time a day, would replace daily meals.

But stop to think about the advantages. We would not have to dedicate fields of grain to provide food and the competition for corn for food vs fuel would go away. Obesity and all obesity-related problems would be solved. There would be no need to produce, ship, stock and dispose of tons of toilet paper, no more diapers in landfills, the amount of carbon being pumped into the air by restaurants, food processing plants, etc. would reduce significantly, no more decisions about what to eat, productivity would go up as we would not have to take time away to eat; tons of benefits.

There is something basic about experiencing food beyond the nutritional needs human being have. If we advocate that we get rid of food and replace it with pure technology that has only minimal stimulus of the body, i.e., the act of swallowing a pill with liquid, people call you a lunatic, crazy, “that will never happen.” And, they may be right; they may be wrong. But, for today, they are wrong.

So, why are we applying the same argument to newspapers, books and all non-digital media? Seth Godin examines this by asking If newspapers were to go away, what would you miss?. And I think he gets it a little bit wrong. He focuses on the NUTRITION of newspapers, rather than the EXPERIENCE of newspapers. Most prognosticators of the demise of newspapers do. It is easy to pick apart the need for printing stuff we already know on paper and deliver it with a high rate of failure to houses all over a geographic area. But newspapers are more than the information they deliver.

A newspaper is something you can touch and experience. You can smell the ink, the paper, the air that gets trapped in the bits of fiber. The paper has a crinkle and rustle that is unique to a broadsheet newspaper. All of these sights, sounds and touches are the experience of reading a newspaper. A newspaper is also that short jaunt out to the driveway in the cold morning air, followed by the welcoming paper and hot coffee. Throw in the fact that a newspaper reader is perceived to be smarter than the guy sitting next to him with iPod earbuds screwed into his ears, head bobbing up and down to the latest indie track he downloaded from BitTorrent. Newspapers envelope a human being with an assault on the senses with each reading experience.

It is unfortunate that many only see the newspapers as delivering yesterday’s news and not a full-on human experience of the senses. Newspapers will be missed when they are gone and we will miss a sensual experience that will, in the future, define an era as distinct as the era of the horse and the era of the auto.

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Sarah Palin (on loan from CNN.com)

In a CNN.com blog post yesterday, Ms. Palin is quoted as saying:

I would think we all tear up during the national anthem at the beginning of a baseball game, don’t we? That’s an alikeness between Alaskans and New Yorkers.

Sigh. I think she meant to say something like “common bond” or “the bonds that united as as a nation” or even “similarity.” I am beginning to suspect she makes up words as she goes. She reminds me of Damon Wayans’ malaprop character on In Living Color. Malaprop is a big word, so I linked it up, in case Ms. Palin is reading… oh, never mind.

It really is time for the smart guys to be in charge. The beer-drinking buddies, the “Joe the Plumbers” are not the future of this country, they are its past. It is not cool to be dumb. It never was.

In recent decades, we’ve seen the damage one dumb man can do. We’ve also seen the damage a highly provincial man can do. Neither was good for this country as one led to high inflation and a hostage crises and the other led to wars, loss of a moral compass and submission to mob fear.

I’m not sure how many bloggers remained “anonymous” about their feelings on Sarah Palin. That women created a blog wake so deep and fast that if you didn’t attach your name to it, your blog was a waste of time to write or read. There was nothing about anonymity or boredom in that ride.

We’ve had a taste of what a smart Sarah Palin would be like. We call her Tina Fey. And the real thing pales in comparison to the imitation.

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The Facebook Nipple controversy

Grammy High speed video

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Few things make me more upset than “journalists” who have no knowledge of the facts of a story, write about it or get on television, answering phantom questions about hypoteticals. Then the anchor or host treats their answers like they relate to the story at hand. Then they guide the reader or listener through the “facts” of a story based on the answers to these hypothetical questions as if they are relevant. Unless you are paying attention and reject the entire story when this occurs, you will get the facts of the story all wrong. Is it any wonder Americans are so ill-informed about so much?

The latest example of this type of “journalism” can be found right here in my local newspaper, the Dayton Daily News. Not only does the writer start by asserting an unsubstantiated “fact” (…dying from [a seizure] is rare) but early in the article she states:

Medical specialists who did not treat the boy told The Associated Press on Tuesday that while Kawasaki syndrome is poorly understood, it’s extremely unlikely the disease had anything to do with the teen’s death.

Let me repeat: “medical specialist who did not treat the boy told…” And, AP, why are you lapping this up? What kind of journalism institution are you anyway?

And now, we have Dr. Sanjay Gupta, the worst offender of them all*, slated for the Surgeon General. Has he not done enough damage with his glib, over-arching generalizations of the American health care scene at CNN? I’m sure Dr. Gupta is a competent doctor, but it is unethical and immoral to lead people down a path that is so generic as to be dangerous to their health. Whatever you believe about Dr. Gupta’s competence, his words have weight.

I attribute this “fact-filling” as a desperate attempt by media to be the first on the scene and to fill 24/7 airtime with breaking news stories. Here is a bit of advice from the the old school: If you have nothing to say on the matter, just shut up before you start sounding like an idiot.

*No, I have no supporting evidence he is the worst, but go to YouTube and sift through the video.

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Ohio Statehouse

Many of the in-coming senators went on and on about how they need to cut government waste and hunker down and spend smarter, blah, blah, blah.

And then it occurs to me: Shouldn’t government be counter-cyclic to the marketplace? When things are going well, the free market tends to create goods and services it needs without help from the government. When the economy is doing well, shouldn’t government be pulling back on services, conserving revenues for a down economy?

When the economy is not doing well, that is when we need government help. That is when the government should ramp up the spending, not pull back. Government waste during fat years is a lifeline to average folks and small business during famine years.

As an owner of a small business, I only heard that the various Ohio Revenue departments are going to start going after every single penny it feels it is entitled to. It will asses property values higher, it will send out random letters declaring I owe this penalty or that missed tax payment, whether real or not. It will extract and extort money from the down and hurting at a greater rate than normal. All in pursuit of “responsible budget balancing.”

And they will further spiral the economic crisis downward and wonder why the budget will never balance. When the Ohio Statehouse policies put people out of business, tax revenues dry up and no matter how threatening the letters are, you can’t get money from people you put out of business and kick out of their homes.

I know it is really hard for elected officials to act responsibly during the fat, happy party years but when we out here on Main Street are doing well, Columbus and DC should be saving for a rainy day, not joining in the party and buying the booze for the drunken puppies.

Am I wrong?

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Brain dump

I collect newspaper clippings for blog ideas. Mostly, the articles are things that sent my blood pressure over the edge or got me wondering “what if it were different” or just things that make me go “hmmmmmmmmmm..”

These clippings sit on my desk, tugging at me to write a blog post about them. But there just isn’t enough brain material for an entire blog post. So, they stack up, hoping to bump into other clippings that glue them together in this big “human condition” context. And, sometimes, it just doesn’t happen.

And all the while they are tugging and screaming at me to do something with them, often culminating to a deafening roar. So, to quiet the clippings, sweep them off my desk and hopefully into a discussion with you, I am going to just knock out short thoughts of each and then let them go. Hopefully my readers will take off where I could not.

Nov 28, 2008, WSJ, Page A13
Breakfast with St. Peter My thoughts on this article are conflicted. I at once want to find a St. Peter for myself, but mostly I want to be a good enough person to be a St. Peter for others. I hope I am lucky enough to be one or the other before I meet the real St. Peter.

Dec 30, 2008, WSJ, Page B1
Claiborne CEO Flies Commercial to Cut Costs This was supposed to have been a blog post about the value of TIME and how important it is for a CEO or any leader of any multi-million dollar company, hospital emergency room or Oval Office to have enough sleep to be able to function. I know the “perception” of using a private jet to the average Joe is like burning dollar bills while dancing on a grave, but do we really want our leaders — corporate or otherwise — flying the crappy skies? I don’t. Read the article and decide for yourself.

Dec 21, 2008, DDN, Page C5
Motor City’s woes extend beyond auto industry One passage made me pause and think about my own retirement plan in America.

“…I’m seeing guys make a conscious decision they’ll be better off in prison than in the community, homeless and hungry…. In prison, they’ve got three hots and a cot…”

Here’s my retirement plan, given the current state of my 401(k) and less than 20 years left of a working career: On my 65th birthday, I will commit some sort of Federal crime bad enough that will get me sent to prison for life, but not death row. There, I will not have to worry about getting my medication, food or deciding between heat and food. If I am good enough, they may even let me keep a canine pet with me. That is the plan, unless Obama can turn around this “all for me and me alone” culture we have created for ourselves. Or, some foreign country will let me expatriate.

Jan 2, 2009, WSJ, Opinion Page
Treasury to Ford: Drop Dead Part of me wants to scream out, “Jesus H. Christ, Mulally, did you not see the GMAC bank thing coming? What the hell is wrong with you?” and another part wants to slap Mulally on the back and congratulate him for doing the right thing, for taking an ethical stand. I’m conflicted, but am almost certain Ford Motor Company is toast.

And my last clipping…

Jan 3, 2009, WSJ, Opinion Page
Blame Television for the Bubble Just when I begin to wonder where all the common sense, level-headed real people are, they do something crazy like write an opinion article in the WSJ. Yeah, I’m sick of all these 20-something yucks buying $500,000+ houses.. Where the HELL do they get the money, assuming that to make the kind of money they need to be making to afford a house that expensive at their age they had to go to one hell of a good school and have student loans coming out their butts. I have owned my home for 23 years and I STILL find home ownership expensive. What the heck am I doing wrong?

Ok, that is it. The clipping tray is now empty and I have dumped my thoughts out onto this blog post like Dumbledore’s thoughts into a pensieve.

What, can’t a dog be a Harry Potter fan?

You’re such a muggle.

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I pulled into my National City drive thru and this is what greeted me. I waited for almost 30 minutes before it was my time to send my deposits through the tube-hole.

Hey, banks! Why do you thing the average Joe on Main Street is pissed off at all this bail-out stuff? Use some of the TARP money to hire just one more teller.

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Just one more second

Rarely do we get handed the gift of time, so I got to thinking about what I would do with an extra second of time. A second isn’t really enough time to do anything significant, but it sometimes makes the difference for some people whether or not they step in front of a bus or not at a particular moment. A second is also a lifetime in most Olympic sports, sometimes determining the difference between first place, a gold medal and fourth place and nothing.

But, my mind raced to more practical calculations and I pondered this:

If I can type 60 words a minute, that means I can type out an extra word in one second. And, if there are 6 billion people on the planet at any given point, and if only 30% were literate enough to be able to type one word, that is 1,800,000,000 extra words.

Now, the result may be closer to a million monkeys on a million typewriters, but you never know. Would 1.8 billion words impart some human knowledge or wisdom we would never have know if we didn’t have that extra second?

But then again, it is just an extra second. What could you possibly do in one second?

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At Christmas dinner, eating a 2lb hunk of rib roast in front of your friends and family is gluttony. But, in front of a television on a Tuesday night with two dogs, it is responsible left over management.

Beef. It's what's for dinner.

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Soccer photo from the Mead Cup Soccer Tournament in Dayton, Ohio

Fortunately, we had commissioned a photo shoot for TourneyCentral a few months back and the photos were still on my MacBook Pro. So, I opened the folder, pulled out a few dozen photos, threw them in a gallery using Photoshop, put them up on some Web space and sent her the link.

“Email me the file names of the ones you want, give the photographer credit,” I wrote back.

Within an hour, she had her local photos, I made another contact in the local publishing community who sent me back a huge “sigh of relief and gratitude” email (on a holiday week), reaffirmed my value with the local chamber contact who referred me, gave some more exposure to a local photographer, subtly plugged the Mead CUSA Cup Soccer Tournament and maybe created some business opportunity for myself later on down the line.

What I did not do was calculate an ROI for this act of networking.

Why didn’t I? I’m in business and the responsible thing to do — I’ve been told — is to have an ROI for everything I do. What was the return on my spending an hour of time and effort I did not really have to spare? How did your actions affect the bottom line of your business? You paid to have those photos taken; why did you just give them away to a publication? What is the ROI on spending another hour writing the blog post you are reading now? All of these things I heard in the back of my head as I was doing this act of kindness for this very desperate graphic designer who probably was behind schedule through no fault of her own.

Again, knowing all this, I did not calculate an ROI.

Is what I did considered social networking? Yeah, I think it is. It is no different than sending folks tweets on Twitter and helping out with requests for code or software recommendations or sharing a MacBook Pro power adapter when someone sends out a “help me” tweet. Nor is it any different than spending time commenting on a blog post that may not have examined all the facts entirely.

I propose a new standard for ROI on social networking: If you ask what the ROI is for social networking, you are already convinced emotionally that you need to do it. Go with that, jump in and tweet, blog and link in and the “financial ROI” will fall into place.

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Wii game Petz Sports

I tweeted back saying people should just get a dog and walk three times a day. Then, it occurred to me that somebody may have already developed a game for Wii where you can walk your virtual dog.

Get this. A game, Petz Sports, was released last month where you can use your Wii to interact with a pet.

Just plain wrong.

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Smiley Faces

I started buying up lots of goofy things, like packs of smiley face tickers for a couple bucks, a big sheet of smiley face plastic clings, animal stickers with monkeys giving a thumbs up. As long as it was brightly colored and gave me an affirmation, it was cool and in my cart.

As I was driving home with my stash of stickers I really didn’t know what I was going to do with, it occurred to me that for a few bucks and some stickers, I had forgotten about the economy, almost all my worries and I felt really good inside. There had to be a way to pass that along. I had a web server, some skills, a Twitter account but mostly, a really warm feeling inside.

So I registered up the domain PutOnASmileyFace.com, made a web page and viola! we have a social movement to spread smiles as far and wide as we can.

Are you with me? I sure hope so. Together, we spread this thing as far as you can. I think we can even make the entire country grin ear-to-ear if we only believe.

Yes, yes we can. Click here to get started.

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In a Huffington Post article today, Steven Shehori wrote a satirical piece, claiming that 37% of Americans could not locate America on a map of the United States of America. In it, he writes a quote:

Shirley Matheson, a part-time Arby’s employee residing in Dayton, Ohio, agreed with Weiss’s assessment. “I live in the U.S.A., so why would I need to know where America is? Or the United States for that matter?”

Why pick out Dayton, Ohio specifically? Are the words “uneducated” and “Dayton” so close to each other that if you were to randomly pick out any city in America, you would pick Dayton, Ohio?

Well, ok maybe you would. I would, but I live here, so I’m allowed. The rest of your liberal pukes, quit picking on us.

Oh, and Steven, if folks in Dayton, Ohio don’t know where America is on a map, we’re not going to know what satire is either. But then, we’re probably not reading the Huffington Post.

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I won’t begrudge any dog his day, but what is the point of a Barney Christmas video every year? Is it some private joke I just don’t get?

Meanwhile, the economy is in the tank, we’re still mired down in the Middle East, gas prices are on the rise, oil production is being cut…. *sigh*

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Really cool speakers I didn't buy.

Well, did that mean iPhone 3G also? I don’t know, but I had an iPhone and they had a web site. I fired up Safari, plugged in the web address and was stopped faster than a snowball against a brick wall. The entire site was in Flash.

I left the store without buying the speaker set. Too bad, it was really cool looking and was my impulse purchase for the week.. perhaps the month.

If you sell Apple anything, do not make your Web site using Flash. Honestly, don’t you know we all have iPhones? Except one person in Ohio who maybe bought a Sprint Instinct instead.

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Stolen from www.msnbc.com

Biden, riding deep with seven black Secret Service vehicles, rolled up to German Shepherd breeder Linda Brown’s home in Chester County, Penn. on Saturday and rolled out having chosen the nation’s Second Dog. From the Shepherd side of this family, we think that is a pretty good choice. Brave, but good.

Read the whole story at MSNBC.com

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I saw this on the tv when I was half-asleep, it has stuck in my brain for over a year and nobody believed that ABC World News Tonight would play something like this.

Well, here’s the proof!

Now, is your brain doing the polka too? Yeah, not fair, but oh well!

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