Mommy and daddybloggers, what’s your exit strategy?

I have two kids, 19 (girl) and 25 (boy). I blog, I tweet, I can make WordPress sing and I know all the ins and out of social media. I can cook, clean, iron a shirt or a pleated skirt and go bra shopping if called upon (not often these days, but earlier.) I have changed thousands of diapers, I have rocked each kid to sleep many, many times. I stayed up way past the point of tired to tell them stories. I have helped them through the frustration of homework and I have played in sandboxes. I have sat in emergency rooms in the wee hours of the morning and have held their hands during shots and stitches. I have held them through crying and anger after a breakup or a betrayal. And I have shared their happiness at making a team or singing on stage.

But I am not qualified to be a daddyblogger or contribute into the online dad community because I am too old. My kids are too old. “Parenting for dads has changed since you had kids,” they tell me. “Go away, old man, we don’t need your ideas. We’re the experts now.”



11 Replies to “Mommy and daddybloggers, what’s your exit strategy?”

  1. I think parents using their kids for their own identity and validation is nothing new at all. In fact I think it’s all too common!! I think what’s new is that people have figured out how to capitalize on it better than the usual stage moms, etc. I know blogs are a way to find a support system and build a community – and that can be true – but I would imagine that many “exit strategies” involve a book deal!

    Gawd can you imagine reading a blog for 18 years?? Ugh! Except for yours of course. And mine… ; )

  2. Perhaps what has really changed is a large, ready and willing mutual affirmation society. If I wanted another dad to give me affirmation, I had a pool of a couple dozen friends and co-workers, half being divorced and not seeing their kids, a quarter being detached dads.. so really, 1-2 dads in the entire world with whom I could talk. And even then, you just didn’t go too deep, just kept plodding on what you knew in your heart to be the right way to parent. Now, it seems like all these daddybloggers are so connected that “being the dad” is the central thing. It isn’t, but it is if that makes sense.

    Yeah, 18 years is a long time to read a blog. Even longer to write one. I think I’ll quit this week. Again πŸ™‚

  3. And isn’t that just the saddest thing of all? With all you know…you’re what, OUT OF DATE?

    Like a can of peaches? Sadly, you are right, and their day will come too. I know I sure didn’t expect to be almost 60 when I am almost sure I’m still 28β€”in my heart! I wish you could contribute to their “places.” It sounds like you have a heckuva lot to offer!

  4. The most surprising thing about getting older is how my mind never seems to get all growed up. I thought it was just me, but it seems to be a lot of people as well.

    It’s ok they don’t want me. I just shudder when I think that their kids are not going to be able to build up enough escape velocity to jettison themselves from that gravitational pull that mommy and daddyblogging brands create as they mature.

  5. A portion of that particular blogging community can be incestuous and exclusionary. They build “audience” by commenting on each other’s blogs and then gain sponsors by saying “oh look how many readers I have” but they are the same readers, always, and often get the same sponsors. It’s self-serving and any deeper look would show that the “value” simply isn’t what it’s touted to be.

    I say build your own niche, Rufus. You have, it appears, through your words.

  6. I think my niche might just be hobos and stray dogs πŸ™‚ I’ll take that. Bonnie Harris with Wax Marketing once called me “a modern day James Thurber.” I’m not entirely sure I’m comfortable wearing that mantle, but it is a nice one to slip into as the parenting phase falls away.

  7. I’ve never heard it put quite that way, but you caught the right spirit for raising kids. From our (cough) vantage point, we’ve not only done the job but we know what worked and what didn’t. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make make teenagers or new parents listen to good advice. You know that! I have a feeling there’s a best seller book in the concept of the LIST. It reminds me of the “bucket list” concept, which is different for everyone. The “parenting list”, on the other hand, should be remarkably similar for people everywhere. Lists have tremendous value, as surgeons have come to agree (for drugs, instruments, and procedure steps); errors are minimized with lists. Every pilot knows that.

    Personally I don’t read mommy and daddy bloggers, as that subject is not of immediate concern any longer. There are only so many hours in a day. Self publishing a book of parenting insights on Amazon with a comprehensive list may well be worth your while. You’ve put time into thinking about it. Why not share? Childraising books generally do well. As a matter of curiosity I’d like to see a list – maybe developed by several parents – and see what comes of it.

  8. I’m having the hard time letting go of my h.s. senior. But we’ve done a good job with her and she’s ready to be gently kicked out of the nest. I like the list idea. Check, check, check! The other aspect of identity-from-your-kids is that when mom and dad are “done” with the kids, they are left with each other and that’s a whole ‘nother story.

  9. That requires a whole other checklist, one I have not started but should have a very long time ago. Thank you for reminding me that chapter needs to be written as well….

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