Dear people who want to buy my house;
Thank you for your interest in taking over the landlord responsibilities of this property I have held for almost thirty years. It has been quite a ride. But before we begin to sully our new-found relationship with talk of money and such, there are a few things you should probably know.
I know that you know I know that you have most likely grown up watching HGTV. You don’t look old enough to have lived in any other age before cable TV dominated the airwaves. If you have not been made aware by now, everything they have ever told you about buying a house is a lie. It has all been made up for the sake of attracting sponsors and advertisers whose only goal was to sell you more crap to improve your home. Oh, it’s ok, I believed the lies for a while too as you will soon discover the do-it-yourself projects I have embarked on throughout the house.