Bart Simpson will always be 10 years old

bart_simpsonHere is the secret to the sustainability of The Simpsons: Bart Simpson will always be 10 years old.

At first, this statement seems a bit puzzling, but think about why other social media icons have fallen away. The Brady Bunch grew up, the kid from Two and a Half Men is now a teen-ager, Eddie from The Courtship of Eddie’s Father quickly grew older. The bane of shows that have kid stars is they get older quickly. But, Bart Simpson will always be 10 years old.

Mommybloggers have fallen into this trap because many of them build their audiences around themselves, their personal brand. They are in the minds of their audience, always a mom with kids of “a certain age.” But, while they tend to attract new moms, they themselves are getting older and their kids along with them. Yet, they are looked to for the same advice they were giving when they were struggling through new parenthood.

And many of these mommybloggers will not grow out of that “phase” because it took too much time, too much energy, too much of everything to get to where they are and they will hang on. To their audience, they will always be the mommy.

But they aren’t. They are older, their kids no longer need them to be “mommy.” And this will tear their world apart because they have built a solid brand around being “mommy.”

Obama uses a MacBook Pro?

What Obama's first day photo should have looked like
What Obama's first day photo should have looked like

This photo appeared in the Wall Street Journal and the NY Times. Probably others. Thanks Pete Souza, Official White House Photographer. I’m not sure if we can use these photos. Do tax dollars pay for the official White House photographer? Pretty sure someone will slap my paw if I’m wrong. πŸ˜‰

Congratulations, Mr. President

Congratulations, Mr. President
Congratulations, Mr. President

Following that speech, my new resolutions for 2009 and beyond are:
– To reject negative thinking and reject anyone who says, “That is not possible” and seek out those who say “How can we do that.”
– To reject any and all who speak racists comments and to speak up without hesitation, whether friend or not.
– To quit doing what provides no value to others or myself.

Round up all the web geeks and pelt them with pebbles

I just spent the last hour of my life fighting with some CSS that works perfectly in Safari and MESI 7.0, but not in MSIE 6.0 or the “standards compliant” Firefox whatever version it is now. Since I am working pre-coffee, pre-office hours from a laptop on my kitchen table, I don’t have the luxury of checking out the site on a MSIE 6.0 browser. All I have is a really badly worded description of the problem, sent in an email by a very late Boomer who is using a language all her own to describe the issue.

Let me start by explaining I am very, very good at CSS, HTML, PHP, Perl, MySQL, Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign and a whole host of stuff that has long been discontinued. I have been in the Internet and Web game since 1995 so I think it is fair to say I know what I am doing and have employed a pretty sizable library of fixes, kludges, hacks and plain ol’ cheats to make stuff work on a Web site. I can read, write and design. Don’t even start assuming I’m an idiot or unknowledgeable. You would be very, very wrong.

In some circles, I would be considered a geek. But in mine, I am a User Interface Designer. My job — some would say my obsession — is to make the interaction between the human and the machine seamless and intuitive. If training is needed, the system is too complicated. At least that is the ideal.

I have lost more time, brain cells and sleep to the hubris of geeks than any other tech-related issue. I am convinced the only reason that we have browser discrepancies with CSS, HTML, etc is because the geeks were in charge and they did not have the skills to play nice with each other or anybody else. They looked down at the user because they weren’t as smart, because they didn’t get it. And, they looked down at each other because each one was more right than his peer.

What if each company making street lights decided on a different order of the red-yellow-green? Of, decided that the colors were way too boring and decided purple-pink-magenta would be better. Or, what if they decided that light were just not good and they used coo-coo clock birdies instead? And imagine if a different signal was installed on each street corner. But, the wrinkle is that each user was able to choose which signal he/she liked best for that day, for that corner? What a mess!

So, now we have this mess of browser technologies that don’t play well with each other. For every hour I have to spend on the phone or email, explaining why MSIE 6.0 is a piece of crap, I would like to invoice Microsoft. And, in all fairness, Microsoft should take that invoice payment out of the paychecks of any geek who decided that their way was better. Let them live with the consequences of the mess their hubris created. Apple and Mozilla, you’re not off the hook either.

I expect the geeks to either ignore this post or defend their position. I really don’t give a crap which they do because today, I woke up as a fully frustrated user who doesn’t care to hear another excuse about why your way is better. I am no longer a developer; I will be a user first. If I have to fight with it, I ain’t gonna use your technology.

Standards are good. Community-agreed conventions keep use from wasting time. Pay attention to the user, geeks and peek out from your self-induced world every once in a while.

And quit going to geek conventions where everyone validates your opinion about the user. They’re wrong; we’re not stupid. We just have lives where technology is a tool, not an ends.

Some things I know

I just got done speaking with an American Express rep to pay my bill. I had to call them because I missed the bill pay window between 3:00-7:00am where their web site will actually work to pay my bill.

It got to think about stuff I “know” to be true, even though other dogs swear they aren’t having the same problems.

I KNOW the Amex web site will not work during business hours.

I KNOW the Chase drive-through will make me wait for hours after 2:00pm on Fridays.

I KNOW the shake machine at the Burger King in Englewood will be broken.

I KNOW Time Warner will not really send someone out between the hours of 8:00-12:00am and I should just set aside an entire day.

I KNOW the only flights that ever leave on time from the Dayton International Airport are the first one and the last one of the day.

I KNOW any rental car company will not have a sub compact car available when I arrive.

I KNOW I will not be able to get out of Meijers without waiting in line at the register, even though I will have found everything I needed.

I KNOW my cell phone bill will never be what I was told when I signed up for the plan.

I KNOW the latest gadget I bought will not be compatible with anything else I own.

I KNOW that “no assembly required” really does require assembly.

I KNOW the directions someone just gave me that includes the phrase “you can’t miss it” will not actually get me where I’m going.

I KNOW portable electronic devices will have a 50lb power brick attached to the cord.

What else do YOU know that customer service reps tell you never happens to other people?

Contributed:
@Eva_Abreu via Twitter: I know that I’ll press 3, then 6, then 2, then hold for 13 min. only to get disconnected!

Not entirely an accurate analogy on Net neutrality

Found this analogy about Net neutrality and depite its convincing face, it is not entirely accurate.

Say there was no deal cooked up between Telus and the big pizza chain and everyone was competing equally. But, the local pizza place decided it would make a really delicious, super-duper pizza that everyone wanted, but was not going to pay Telus for extra capacity for phone calls to come in to the shop. They had one line and people could reach them, they claimed.

Moreover, the local pizza chain demanded that Telus install additional lines at no cost to them so they could deliver their extra super delicious pizza that everyone was clambering for. “Pizza should be available to all who want it!” was the battle cry of the pizzeria and their customers.

Yet neither the pizzaria nor their customers were willing to pay extra for the additional phone lines to be installed. “Telus should provide those for free! They MUST be anti-pizza!” came the sequel to the battle-cry.

I am not anti Net neutrality. In fact, a lot of my tax money went to establishing the Internet and without that seed money, the Net would not exist. Nor am I pro Net neutrality. I fight all the time to establish value for web sites we develop that people think should be a free service.

I don’t know the answer, but I know analogies like the one published is not a complete picture of the issue.

Originally published on: GerardMclean.com

I hate AT&T Wireless

I hate AT&T Wireless. I hate them with all the rage and visceral hatred reserved for really crappy bosses and ungrateful relatives. Here’s why.

I have an iPhone. The only way I can make an iPhone work is to connect it up to the AT&T Wireless suck-o-meter. AT&T knows this and they press their advantage. Only 900 minutes and 1500 text messages a month for an insane amount of money. I also have a Verizon Wireless account that services five phones, has 1500 minutes and unlimited text messaging for $38.00/month LESS.

I hate AT&T Wireless.

Not because they are more expensive, but because they take extreme advantage of their advantage they have over me right now. When I am able to use my iPhone over another network, I am dumping them.

Brands create loyal customers, champions and evangelists when they have an advantage and DON’T exploit it by over-charging their customers. All things change and eventually, I will break free. While AT&T Wireless may have made out with a few extra bucks while I was in their prison, they squandered the opportunity to get my money during a lifetime.

I hate AT&T Wireless. Passionately and completely.

Joe Biden get a German Shepherd

Stolen from www.msnbc.com
Stolen from www.msnbc.com
Vice President-elect Joe Biden has picked out a 3-month-old male German shepherd from a suburban Philadelphia kennel to bring with him to Washington.

Biden, riding deep with seven black Secret Service vehicles, rolled up to German Shepherd breeder Linda Brown’s home in Chester County, Penn. on Saturday and rolled out having chosen the nation’s Second Dog. From the Shepherd side of this family, we think that is a pretty good choice. Brave, but good.

Read the whole story at MSNBC.com

Pay attention to the news cycle and do something with it

Clever focus on Arizona, with McCain running for president
Clever focus on Arizona, with McCain running for president
Yesterday, I received the monthly issue of Association News, read the front cover and was immediately in awe of the level to which this organization is paying attention to the world around them.

One could say that the choice of featuring Arizona was merely coincidental or that the state was next on the calendar to be featured. OR, one could give these really clever, in-tune and aware folks credit for recognizing that if they were to include Arizona — the state John McCain is from — on the front cover, right about now in the election and news cycle and talk about it that they would get some lift in the blogs, Google News and just an overall heightened interest in Arizona by the otherwise complacent national media.

Just plain clever. I just hope they increased their circulation just a bit with the GOP events and their CPM to advertisers.

Seeing change…

Dead worms in a gutter

We found a different path today and as I was sniffing around on the ground, I came upon this whole line of dead worms in the gutter along the blacktop. Apparently, at some point, there was a lot of water in the gutter and life was good. But, then the heat of the day came along and dried up the water. The worms died because they could not see change around them and did not move quickly enough to get back underground where it was moist.

Moving Day

Moving day for Rufus

It is moving day for my office and I am doing my best to help out. All of those little specks of white are tiny styrofoam balls from the boxes that the new desks were packed in.

Somebody save me πŸ™‚

Tenacious Spider

Spider builds a web

Every morning as we step out of the front door to go on our walk, I glance at the mailbox to the left and a spider will have built a web during the night. Sometimes there will be breakfast in it, sometimes not.

Every morning, I take the newspapers and swipe the web away.

Not sure what keeps the spider from building a web day after day after day. Is it because the feeding ground next to our mailbox is so plentiful that the cost of having to build a new web every night is an insignificant one? Is the spider just a “never give up, never surrender” type of spider? Is the spider just plain stupid that he just doesn’t know when he is hearing the word “no?” Does the spider just have no place else to go?

The web was there today. It will be there tomorrow.