Yesterday was Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, which resulted in photos splayed all over the Internet of slack-jawed Oakies, holding up sandwich bags of fresh, blood-splattered carcasses gleaned from the day-long rabbit clubbing frenzy in No Man’s Land.
Some of the red-letter citizens of No Man’s Land America are posted to the right. You may recognize them by their goofy grins and the thumbs up “okey-dokey.”
As the day unfolded, I marveled at the Right’s ability to mobilize their army to march out to their local Chick-fil-A and buy a sack of fat and carbs without reservation. What power, what pull. But in the light of day, fueled by a wee-hours chat with two really smart women on the twitter, I came to realize something: Chick-fil-A really messed this one up.
What the hell, dawg? No, they had a great day. There were lines out the door and down the block!
Settle down and let me explain.
Chick-fil-A may have sold a lot of sandwiches yesterday, but thanks to the meddling of Mike Huckabee, they don’t know why. When Cathy spouted off in his interview about one-man, one-woman Biblical family definition, blah, blah, blah, the issue had clarity. If you supported Chick-fil-A, you also supported their beliefs. If you boycotted, you didn’t. If you were oblivious, you probably just liked their chicken sandwiches. When Huckabee got involved, he threw the issue kattywhompass by encouraging people to support a great small business, to boycott the boycott, to show that the voice of the American people could not be silenced by a bunch of left-leaning, commie weenies.
Alrighty, then. So now we have some people going to Chick-fil-A because they are lemming drones with GOP knee-jerk marching orders vaguely based on some goofy understanding of the First Amendment, some people showing up because they support Cathy’s version of family, some people out of pure hatred for gay people and some people who were just caught up in the fracas going to their lunch place.
In their frenzy to stick it to the Left, the Conservatives left yet one more organization in shambles trying to figure out what just happened, proving once again they can win an issue, but can’t govern or manage. The chicken for these cultural locusts was just one more pest to club on their way to solving a problem they have not defined or thought through. If Chick-fil-A thought they had an ally on the Right, they are probably wrong. The Right is on to club the next thing in their way. After all, there is an election on the horizon.
Chick-fil-A had a great day yesterday, but they don’t know what to do today. They know less about why people eat at Chick-fil-A today than they thought they knew the day before yesterday.