Ok, I really hate policies, but some people just have to push the limits of common sense, making them kinda necessary. If you want to follow me on Twitter, here is why I will or will not follow you:
1. DO NOT follow me if you are a dog just because I am a dog. Follow me because my tweets or blog posts are interesting. If all you tweet about is your dog, I will not follow you back.
2. DO NOT follow me if you want to sell me your dog crap. I will not follow you back.
3. DO NOT follow me if you are looking to sell me any form of MLM, get rich crap or if you want to sell me your “expertise” in pretty much anything. I am old enough to know more than I will probably ever use and what I don’t know, I can Google.
4. DO NOT follow me if you don’t post anything new within 30 days. Every few weeks or so, I go through my followers and delete anyone who has not said anything in the past 30 days. (I use Twitoria for that.)
5. DO follow me if you want to add something to the conversation. I will then follow you back.
6. If I don’t follow you back right away, please don’t be offended. If you are interesting and I’m not following you, there is probably a TECHNICAL reason why I am not.
7. DO NOT ever DM me. Really, they are a pain in the butt and I ignore them all. Just post up a tweet with @dogwalkblog at the beginning. I’ll see it.
8. Oh, and one really huge pet peeve. You never have the right to tell me to sit, stay or any other demeaning* command. If you do and I follow you, I will unfollow you. Life is too short to have jerks as friends. Really, especially when you are a dog cause we don’t live as long. One of life’s cruel jokes, but it always seems God lets jerks and idiots live longer. Makes you think Darwin may not be entirely correct
9. I do read your profile (and your blog) before I follow you back. If you post up “feel-good” quotes or sugary sweet stuff every time, I’m not going to follow you back. If I want affirmations, I raid the fridge Also, excessive spirituality will not get a follow. I am a recovering Catholic and have had enough religion shoved down my throat to last a lifetime. A HUMAN lifetime no less.
*By demeaning, I also mean “cheeky”, “sarcastic”, “derogatory”, “half-joking”, “full-joking”, “JK”, “LOL” and any other qualifier you want to add. Best to steer clear from any dog command joke as it will probably not come across as funny anyway.